New Cable Drama Series to Film in Barnstable

“Boardwalk Empire” to star Charlie Sheen as corrupt Town Manager

The star of "Walkway Empire" is made up to resemble a local, veteran Town Manager

ollowing in the steps of HBO’s blockbuster “Boardwalk Empire”, News of the Cape has learned that one of the cable networks is now casting for “Walkway Empire”, a new drama series based upon the tawdry affairs of the town of Barnstable.

Thus far the major roles have been cast with Charlie Sheen as corrupt Town Council President Seamus O’Toole, Mickey Rourke as chief of police Rodney Doolittle, Lindsey Lohan as the nightclub owner Freda Urbanetti (F.U. to her friends) and Sean Penn as indefatigable town manager B.T. Mycock. Paris Hilton will portray crusading district attorney Marion Dike, the political partner and unrequited love interest of B.T. Mycock.

Barring gunshots, promotional footage will be filmed next week along the so-called “Walkway to the Sea” in beautiful downtown Hyannis.  Sources say the main house at the Kennedy Compound will be used as the O’Toole family’s seat of power.   Tom Cruise guest stars as the heroic head of security for the Horseshoe Shoals Wind Farm who keeps the wind turbines safe from the Terrorism Alliance’s constant attacks.

Story lines include shakedowns of local businesses by town officials, sleazy personnel deals, school scandals, flawed law enforcement officers, Little League scandals, illegal tax-payer funding of an anti-environment group, and a thriving downtown drug trade.  A “Breaking Bad”-like sub-plot will follow a gentle charter school science teacher strikes gold with a “killer” crystal meth recipe.  Locations throughout Osterville will be used as nesting places for a large colony of vampires.

Secondary locations will be the “Triangle”, the abandoned Nissan-Peugeot store on North Street (crime boss O’Toole’s headquarters), and the palatial home of Freda Urbanetti in upscale Cummaquid Heights.

A cattle call will be held for local extras to portray meth hags, crackheads and gangsters.  Dancers for FU’s nightclub will be auditioned at the Mashpee Ballet.

More details will be published as they are leaked.