The sex secrets of the ages by a noted roué
First, what women know about men
obin Williams said it best when asked what was the difference between women and men when it came to sexual intercourse.
He said: "Women ask, WHY? Men ask, WHERE?" If my dear reader would ponder the deeper meaning of those words, the differences between the genders would reveal itself. But since women haven't figured it out since the Garden of Eden, I assume a more detailed explanation is needed.
So here is what women know about men:
Woman have estrogen. Men have testosterone. The fact that the latter is described as a Steroid should give you an idea of its power. It is a strong drug which is far more powerful and compelling than women realize.
The Kinsey Report (Sexual Behavior in the Human Male), reported that 54 percent of men think about sex every day. Some reports estimate that a majority of men think of sex every few minutes. As King Arthur told Guinevere, "Once a king, always a king, but once a Knight ain't enough."
Men can no longer NOT look at women, than women can avoid buying that new pair of shoes, and that includes even when we are madly in love with you. We are compelled, driven, forced by testosterone to gaze upon any comely lass.
We know it is difficult for you distaff members of our species to understand this. You will simply have to accept it to even begin to understand men. The fact that you are referred as distaff might explain it to you. If you had a staff, it would rule you too, whether you wished it to or not.
The Three Minute Flat Rule
Judging from the average porn flick, romance novel, or locker room conversation, a Martian landing on Earth would probably assume that intercourse would last somewhere in the vicinity of 40 minutes. But if that Martian were to actually enter into a relationship or peek through most male bedroom windows while he was in flagrante delicto, that Martian might be in for a big disappointment.
Such marathon sessions are the exception to the rule, and surveys find that the average sex session lasts from three to ten minutes. Not that any of this should be so surprising when you learn that the average hotel porn viewer watches for just 12 minutes.
Yes, sometimes we need inspiration.
The difference between male and female sex drives, and who cheats?
To paraphrase Cole Porter, Birds do it, bees do it, even some men on their knees do it, but women will only do it if the candles are scented just right, and their partner has done the dishes first. A stereotype, sure, but is it true? Do men really have stronger sex drives than women?
Well, yes, they do. Study after study illustrates that man's sex drives are not only stronger than women's, but much more straightforward. The sources of women's libidos, by contrast, are much more difficult to pin down. Other surveys reveal that half all males cheat on their mate in America. The other half cheat on them out of the country.
The dictionary describes a roué as a debauched or lecherous person, a charge to which I eagerly admit guilt. I can honestly tell you that even in advanced age, a healthy male thinks about 'doing it' with every attractive women he sees.
Luckily for most of my gender, most have a thin coating of civility which keeps us in check.
Unfortunately that coating is dissolved by alcohol, so stay away from men after the second Martini.
First, what women know about men
He said: "Women ask, WHY? Men ask, WHERE?" If my dear reader would ponder the deeper meaning of those words, the differences between the genders would reveal itself. But since women haven't figured it out since the Garden of Eden, I assume a more detailed explanation is needed.
- They are necessary for producing offspring.
- They can be easily manipulated by as small a reward as an apple.
- They know more about their carburetors than about your clitoris.
- They don't want to 'commit.'
- They don't smell as good as women do.
- They lie a lot.
- They care more about beer than about clothes.
- They avoid intimacy, thus their interest in sports.
- They have three pairs of shoes, max.
- They don't remember dates.
- If it itches, they scratch it - no matter where it is.
- Christopher Columbus didn't ask for directions and neither do they.
- They always leave the toilet seat up.
Woman have estrogen. Men have testosterone. The fact that the latter is described as a Steroid should give you an idea of its power. It is a strong drug which is far more powerful and compelling than women realize.
The Kinsey Report (Sexual Behavior in the Human Male), reported that 54 percent of men think about sex every day. Some reports estimate that a majority of men think of sex every few minutes. As King Arthur told Guinevere, "Once a king, always a king, but once a Knight ain't enough."
We know it is difficult for you distaff members of our species to understand this. You will simply have to accept it to even begin to understand men. The fact that you are referred as distaff might explain it to you. If you had a staff, it would rule you too, whether you wished it to or not.
The Three Minute Flat Rule
Judging from the average porn flick, romance novel, or locker room conversation, a Martian landing on Earth would probably assume that intercourse would last somewhere in the vicinity of 40 minutes. But if that Martian were to actually enter into a relationship or peek through most male bedroom windows while he was in flagrante delicto, that Martian might be in for a big disappointment.
Such marathon sessions are the exception to the rule, and surveys find that the average sex session lasts from three to ten minutes. Not that any of this should be so surprising when you learn that the average hotel porn viewer watches for just 12 minutes.
Yes, sometimes we need inspiration.
The difference between male and female sex drives, and who cheats?
To paraphrase Cole Porter, Birds do it, bees do it, even some men on their knees do it, but women will only do it if the candles are scented just right, and their partner has done the dishes first. A stereotype, sure, but is it true? Do men really have stronger sex drives than women?
Well, yes, they do. Study after study illustrates that man's sex drives are not only stronger than women's, but much more straightforward. The sources of women's libidos, by contrast, are much more difficult to pin down. Other surveys reveal that half all males cheat on their mate in America. The other half cheat on them out of the country.
The dictionary describes a roué as a debauched or lecherous person, a charge to which I eagerly admit guilt. I can honestly tell you that even in advanced age, a healthy male thinks about 'doing it' with every attractive women he sees.
Luckily for most of my gender, most have a thin coating of civility which keeps us in check.
Unfortunately that coating is dissolved by alcohol, so stay away from men after the second Martini.
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