Maybe we can extend the practice to Cape Cod charter schools
And teacher's wages should be indexed to MCAS results
During morning Mass today, My Eminence observed an inattentive teenager who was far more interested in teasing the girl in front of him than in the Elevation of the Host. Fortunately, Sister Aloysius was quick with her yardstick and left the little devil with the markings of her wrath.
Saint Timothy, who was serving at the altar, muttered "Dunce!" under his breath and that brought a Divine Revelation: Bring back the Dunce Cap - but only for teachers!
Holy Father loved the idea!
Henceforth, in all schools administered by the Holy See-Saw, teachers whose students under perform on standardized tests will be required to wear a Dunce Cap and sit in front of the school during their prep period. They may grade papers, read or use their laptops but they must wear the Dunce Cap in plain view of all passing motorists and pedestrians. Passersby will be encouraged to cast garbage at the miscreant teachers.
Some of our teachers recently petitioned His Holiness for pay increases that were indexed to test scores. His Holiness and I endorsed this measure but also wanted a consequence for those who failed to teach their students. Incentive pay for teachers who perform well truly is a blessed thing. However those Damned teachers whose students fail over and over again should be condemned to the flames of perdition for the damage they do to young learners.
And teacher's wages should be indexed to MCAS results
During morning Mass today, My Eminence observed an inattentive teenager who was far more interested in teasing the girl in front of him than in the Elevation of the Host. Fortunately, Sister Aloysius was quick with her yardstick and left the little devil with the markings of her wrath.Saint Timothy, who was serving at the altar, muttered "Dunce!" under his breath and that brought a Divine Revelation: Bring back the Dunce Cap - but only for teachers!
Holy Father loved the idea!
Henceforth, in all schools administered by the Holy See-Saw, teachers whose students under perform on standardized tests will be required to wear a Dunce Cap and sit in front of the school during their prep period. They may grade papers, read or use their laptops but they must wear the Dunce Cap in plain view of all passing motorists and pedestrians. Passersby will be encouraged to cast garbage at the miscreant teachers.
Some of our teachers recently petitioned His Holiness for pay increases that were indexed to test scores. His Holiness and I endorsed this measure but also wanted a consequence for those who failed to teach their students. Incentive pay for teachers who perform well truly is a blessed thing. However those Damned teachers whose students fail over and over again should be condemned to the flames of perdition for the damage they do to young learners. Fortunately those who tried to organize teacher unions in Diocesan schools of the Holy Cod Catholic Church were detected and burned at the stake by the previous Pontiff. My grandfather was a decisive Pope indeed and had no tolerance for such servants of the Beast.
The Badican is proud to join with others in the national "Bring Back the Dunce Cap" movement. You can order promotional materials at their web site.
The Badican is proud to join with others in the national "Bring Back the Dunce Cap" movement. You can order promotional materials at their web site.
Blessings to all,
Cardinal Borgia
No comments:
Post a Comment