Welcome to our Spoof

This is NOT
News of the World

This IS News of the Cape
ith the recent demise of Rupert Murdoch's British tabloid, we feel that the world on this side of the pond may be ready for the usual, heavy-handed, nasty and naughty, Murdoch touch.

Thus this non non-paper (as opposed to news-paper) which will try very hard NOT to publish a simple truth.

Be warned

All our stories are spoofs, whimsy, phony, fake, like Rupert Murdoch's still afloat FauxFoxNews. An example would be this one from The Spoof:, "He's been living on the Cape and been on the State payroll since 1991!  Whitey confronted at his ocean front home in Eastham where he was seen tending some unmarked graves in his backyard..." See here.

A more recent slander was titled, "White Sharks Gather off Cape Cod on Rumours Kennedy to Be Buried at Sea" The story goes on to say, "In a final lifting of his middle finger to the constituents that paid his way for over 55 years, deceased Senator Edward M. Kennedy had one parting shot to ruin labor day for millions on Cape Cod.

"Reports that the Senator had requested he be buried at sea, apparently have leaked out to the marine world as a pod of great white sharks have suddenly appeared off Cape Cods most popular beaches during labor day, effectively causing Massachusetts authorities to ban swimming, wading, paddle boarding, or even diving in to take a pee." See it here.

The difference is that unlike FauxFoxNews, we tell you up front that everything here is the products of our sick minds and low humor.

Among the tawdry, if not downright sacrilegious columns we will offer is a one by the infamous Cape Cod Cardinal Borgia who is guaranteed to offend and protract any issue on our sandspit. He is capable of blessing like this, "Holy Father prayed over this while eating his fortune cookie at Hunan's buffet tonight. The fortune said 'Prosperity belongs to those who can learn new things the fastest.'"

He neglected to mention his next cookie read, "Help ! I'm being held captive in a Chinese Fortune Cookie factory."

We will also offer tidbits from The Spoof and The Onion when we feel they are offensive enough.

We even have the temerity to hope the 'Advice to the love-lorn' columnist, The Thumper, will return to make offers any decent person will refuse.

A typical piece of her advice to a supplicant named O. Dogg was, "
Dear O Dogg,
 If there really IS a God, I doubt he cares if you're sodomizing anyone. God would have a very busy itinerary, and you'd probably rank pretty far behind genocide, poverty, and stuff like that to really generate that much Wrath.
Even factoring in omnipotence... there's only so much time in one day.